Jedi Mind Tricks

Crawl, crawl, crawl.

I was transfixed on the miniscule object traveling across the carpet in front of me.

Crawl…crawl…as it slowly made its way in my direction, I strained in my seat to make out what it was. Reddish-brown and rather sluggish, it resembled either a slow, pill-sized beetle – or a very sleepy, creepy baby cockroach. As I struggled to keep track of the little bugger, he began to blend into his be-speckled surroundings – finally losing me completely. Just great…I could only sit in anticipation of the great killer-cockroach.

 Jolting back to reality, I found myself sitting in a small classroom; part of a large semicircle of people, all listening intently to the vivid Sunday school lesson. In an effort to recall what had been said, I quickly replayed the words rattling in my sub-conscious…glancing back to the carpet now and then in search of the elusive traveling speck. I finally spotted the cockroach/beetle, still meandering toward me, totally oblivious of the room-full of people planted on the rug around him.

  Plod, plod, plod. He was only a yard or so from my chair now, and I started to feel an irresistible urge to reach out and squash him. He was so close now…just a few more feet. But then, seeming to sense my hostility, he suddenly stopped and re-routed his journey in the opposite direction.

Creep…creep…he was getting away.

Annoyed, I watched as he neared the center of the room – where he changed his mind and turned once again in my direction. Come on, I willed, absently, hoping to entice him forward with my Jedi mind-control. Keeping a vigilant eye on the moving dot, I split my mental powers between the fascinating Sunday school lesson and my determined task –bringing the beetle closer and closer to his doom. As he approached, I began to ponder the most inconspicuous way to stomp him into the carpet during Sunday school.

  But Mr. Bug was crawling away again, this time in a more unpredictable pattern. My Jedi powers were failing.

Crawl, crawl, crawl.                      

  I watched him wander away, quite helpless to control him. Why did God program Free Will into His creatures? I wondered. Why couldn’t He just manipulate everyone with Jedi mind tricks? I tried to imagine God watching me with the same exasperation I felt toward the bug (minus the squashing part of course). He was the Master Jedi, and could control me any moment – even squash me if He wanted to – but He was letting me go my way. Wow.

 I made a resolution: if the stubborn insect approached my chair one more time – even being a creepy little cockroach – I would carry it outside and set it free. 

But only because I couldn’t end the story with STOMP.